Secrets no one tells you about making love after having a baby
When your body goes through a lot of change as pushing another human out, there is a certain level of discomfort to be expected when talking about making love with your partner. Having a baby changes your entire life. You feel different emotions, your schedule changes and your body definitely feels different.
It is normal to feel anxious about having sex again after a baby. There are many things you can do to have a good sex life after having a baby. The most important thing is to remember to take care of yourself.
Whether you give birth vaginally or your baby enters the world via C section, childbirth can throw your sex life on the other side.
While the typical recommendation is to wait 6 weeks after giving birth so your body can heal, some women do not wait that much, or wait longer because they do not feel comfortable to make love again.
1. You should start getting your body physically ready for sex
It is normal to take time to recover. Most caregivers recommend that you abstain from intercourse for at least 4 weeks after you give a birth. It is not safe to do anything less than 2 weeks after having a baby, because your body is likely still bleeding and you risk of getting an infection.
2. Talk to your doctor and follow instructions
Your healthcare provider might require you to come in for a check up before giving you the all clear. Prepare a list of questions you want to ask. You will be more likely to remember to ask everything that has been on your mind. If you had a C section, you may need additional time to heal. If your doctor says that your body is ready, that is a great news. That way, you will be sure and your mind and body will be prapared for a change.
3. Listen what is your body telling you
You are the only one who knows for sure if you are ready or not. Even if your doctor says that you are ready and you are still not feeling comfortable, wait untill you feel good about it. Vaginal dryness is a common problem, especially if you are breastfeeding, but lubricants can help.
4. Accept your new body
Start accepting the changes that have happened. You may notice that your breasts feel and look much differently, your whole body too, especially your stomach. That is all normal, try not to let your feelings about your body impact your desire to be intimate with your loved one. Another common problem is that your body will feel differently to your partner. Talk to him and understand him, as he has to understand you and your feelings and doubts.
The most important thing is that your partner do not watch porns while he is waiting, as he can really start expecting more that you can give him. You should talk to him about it, try to explain him how those videos should affect his mind and expectations. It would be better for both of you.
5. Regain your confidence
It can be difficult to feel sexy after giving birth. Maybe you are stressed about loosing your extra weight. It is crucial to try to regain your confidence in your body. Remind yourself that your body is amazing and that giving birth is big accomplishment. You should start doing some exercises. Be prepared for your new you and make yourself look great. When you feel ready, start doing some workouts, put on some great outfits that makes you feel sexy and awesome. This can make you feel more yourself again and ready for a sex.
6. Be intimate with your partner
If you are not ready to start having sex, try just to be intimate. Give each other massages, light some candles, put some sexy music, and help each other relax. Take a shower together, touch him and let him touches you. Hold hands, cuddle during movies and kiss each other during all day.
7. Try new positions
You may not be able to resume your normal sexual activities from the beginning. During postpartum sex, it can be helpful to let the women control the pace and pressure. Missionary positions can feel uncomfortable to women who have recently given birth. Try a woman on top position. This way, women can set the tone during sex. Communicate during making love, tell your partner and let him say what feels good and what does not.
8. Be supportive
The most important thing you can do to encourage great sex is to be supportive of one another. Being a new partner is an amazing experince. It can be even more interesting because it feels like challenge. Make sure that you and your partner help each other. You will likely find that parenthood deepens your connections. It will help your sex life be more interesting.